A day in the life of the stay-at-home mum..
Leisurely breakfast, Yoga, Loose Women/Jeremy Kyle,Nails/highlights, Coffee with friends, kiss my babies goodnight, Salsa with friends, Bed.
Sorry – that may not be strictly accurate.
A day in the life of an ACTUAL stay-at-home mum.
6:30am Child #1 gently wakes you by jumping on your head
“MUMMY!!! WAKE-UPPPPPPP! QUICK!!!!”
No luckily the house isn’t on fire – Playhouse Disney has rebranded to Disney Junior. Boiled egg, uniform ironed. Bookbag rifled through “Oh yes, I have to go in dressed as a bee today, I forgot”. Letter from the bank. Filed. Unopened.
Boiled egg, uniform ironed. Bookbag rifled through “Oh yes, I have to go in dressed as a bee today, I forgot”. Letter from the bank. Filed. Unopened.
Child #2 refuses to get out of bed…enticed with tea and removing the quilt. Another egg. Dishwasher loaded. Coat, water bottle, sunhats. Car battery dead. Jump start. Road closed, diversion. Traffic from hell. School gates. LUNCH BOX!! Back home, lunch box retrieved, delivered
Another egg. Dishwasher loaded. Coat, water bottle, sunhats. Car battery dead. Jump start. Road closed, diversion. Traffic from hell. School gates. LUNCH BOX!! Back home, lunch box retrieved, delivered
11am Sainsbury’s. Pension day so the grey army is out in force and moving…so…slowly.
15 bags worth into the trolley,onto the checkout (HOW MUCH??), into the trolley, into the car, out of the car, into the cupboards. Kettle on, brew made. Phone goes..mother-in-law presents her new list of to-dos. Tea cold.
1.30pm change beds, hoover, toilets (WHY CAN’T THEY GET IT IN THE BOWL!!) 2 loads of washing, ironing.
2:45pm school run, Gymnastics/football clubs. Out late. Subs overdue.
5pm homework, 3 arguments, dinner “I HATE carrots”, “just eat them or you’re getting no pudding”. Dammit – there is no pudding. 2 more arguments. Husband home: “had a nice day? I wish I didn’t work” Grrr. Another dinner – this time posher. Seriously – Nigella can do one! What is quinoa, anyway?
7pm-9pm Attempted bedtime, 3 stories, 1 lost bear, 1 tooth brushing refusal, 1 bottom wiping Mexican stand-off.
10pm Sky+…”ooh what shall I watch?” Too late – football’s on “but you get all day to watch your programmes”.
10:05pm You are snoring and dribbling on a settee. Nuptials??? Are you having a laugh??
Tomorrow – the same. And the next day…and the next day……..
Let’s add some pressure into the mix. You are SUPPOSED to be 1 stone lighter.
And wearing fabulous clothes (with no dinner or sick on them).
You are SUPPOSED to be sexy…and go away for girlie weekends, and hen dos.
You miss work. Work was orderly, with ready-hoovered carpets, comfy chairs and coffee machines. And nice skirts and shoes that matched your bag.
Remember nightclubs? No? Do they still have those?
Everyone is the same. You are not finding it more difficult than everyone else. Everyone is struggling, but lots of people pretend they aren’t.
When you go to your friend’s beautiful house – TRUST ME – they cleaned for 3 hours to make it look like that – it doesn’t usually. She is lying!
Being a mum is HARD. Being a working mum is just as hard. A whole new set of “Aarrghh!”
Here’s our Top Mum Tips (that you won’t find in any parenting book):
#1 Stop being so hard on yourself. It doesn’t help and it will only make you more worn out.
#2 Go to bed an hour earlier. Watch telly in bed. Especially comedy.
#3 If you think the well-meaning health visitor/mother-in-law’s advice is a load of rubbish – it probably is. You know best. You are Mum.
#4 If the house is a mess – it doesn’t matter. No 80-year-old wishes they spent more time cleaning.
#5 Accept ALL offers of help. Always. People like to help. If it is not offered. Ask.
#6 Do not sign up for extra stuff. There are plenty of other people that can man the tombola/make cakes/organise the Fun Run.
#7 Mark out one morning/evening a week on the calendar as MUM’S BUSY. Never negotiate this one. Use that morning to do what you like (and if you decide to go out, you do not need to say where you have been – makes you mysterious and sexy). I like Sunday mornings, but whatever works.
#8 Do not cook everything from scratch. Yes, I know you can. But don’t.
#9 Have the shopping delivered. If you flutter your eyelashes a bit, they will bring it right into the kitchen.
#10 Please try and get some regular exercise into your life. It will make everything better. I will tell you everything I know about this next time. (And yes, I know you are tired and your husband gets in late and you haven’t got any trainers. But trust me. We will sort that all out.)
You are amazing – you are working really hard. We salute you.
Speak to you soon!
We tackle Mind Mood Body & Food in our 6-month signature programme The Project, to get women like you feeling in control and confident… but until we open again for new sign ups in 2017, here are some things for you
Click the pictures for our FREE Mindfulness For Busy Frazzled Mums Training- and scroll for our Morning Ritual to get you feeling great.