One weird quirk of our new Social Media influenced culture is the premature or ‘hoax’ obituary.
Sometimes it is pranksters – seeing how far they can make some false gossip travel.
Other times it has been a genuine mistake – people with similar names being confused with one another.
There have been darker episodes when the whole thing was on purpose – to inflict grief and upset.
One notable instance was that of Marcus Garvey a black Nationalist activist from Jamaica.
The Chicago Herald reported him dead and described him “broke, alone and unpopular”.
On reading that, he apparently fell into ill-health and suffered the stroke that killed him!
OK so what about you?
What if that happened to you?
How would it read?
Born 19xx Died 19xx
Early life…
Achievements…
We remember her for…
Sorely missed.
How would it be filled in for you?
Does it read OK?
Is OK enough?
I was in the car with my youngest daughter and she told me about a book she was reading.
The writer was in a coffin.
She’d passed on, but she was comfortable; she didn’t mind.
Apparently that was the deal – every day someone would come and give them a touch (like a pill, or a blessing – it wasn’t quite clear) but it was called ‘a touch’.
The touch made them not reflect on their lives, but feel comfortable as they were.
But she’d started to reject ‘the touch’.
It was like an itch.
Something that had always been there.
She wanted to remember.
And the story went that she realised there was so much she hadn’t done, so many chances she didn’t take, so many new lives she didn’t lead – that she had to work out a way to come back to the World.
Finish what she’d started.
It was a beautiful story and I was aghast (with metaphorical fingers in ears, the way anyone who has lost anyone can react)
when she started to tell me about it,
but glad when she told me how it ended up.
It was a powerful lesson which posed the ultimate question.
How do we want to have lived…at the end of our time.
It isn’t so much about how we are remembered (we are gone then.. so.. ya know – so what??, in a way) but how we remember ourselves.
We want you to remember this amazing woman.
Who lived the life she deserved.
Who did the things that meant so much to her. Who affected the people around her in a way that lifted them up, made them feel empowered and glad to know her.
Someone who was the best person she could be.
(Even if it took her a few ‘run ups’ to get to that place.)
We want to encourage you not to think about the end of your life but the moment you are in, now.
How you looked back to a point and changed the story. Subtly. Or in massive ways, How you pivoted and changed things and how you knew you could continue to do that as that beautiful life unfolded.
Learning from lessons of the past. Gaining new wisdoms you passed on as you went through life.
Knowing you were in charge of the story. Not the obituary, but the vibrant, heart-beating, exciting tale of a life well lived.
Not about status or accolades, but memories of fun and living your values.
Looking forward to the things you have to do today.
And cherishing the moments.
Loving the small stuff.
The smell of a flower and the sound of a rock concert and a heart filled with pride on your child’s wedding day.
And all the little things in between.
We want to help you write your story.
The best story in the history of stories.
Your story.
The only one worth writing.
Have a great day.
Lots of Love
Tanya and Claire
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