YEEHAW – (and a little less….BRITISH!)
I have a confession to make:
At WiggleWaggle, our classes will not have your child speaking fluent French, be the youngest ever Olympian or joining Mensa.
Sorry about that.
What we do, and do really well, is help to build your child’s confidence. We use positive language, find ways to help them achieve and celebrate them as they do.
In short: we teach them how to be confident and think and speak POSITIVELY about themselves.
I am sure that you agree that this is a good thing, but do YOU do that for yourself?
Imagine this: someone you haven’t seen for a while asks you this
“How are you?”
What do you reply?
“Not bad thanks.”
“I have had a terrible back, and the children are driving me up the wall…”
In this country we have an almost pre-programmed response of understatement, of playing down the positive – and dare I say it: a love of the grumble!
In the USofA, you are more likely to be greeted with a toothy smile and:
“Awesome thanks and how are you?”
“Great and so good to see you”
We do some things superbly well, but bright sunny optimism isn’t usually one of them.
How about the question
“What do you do?” Is the answer ever “I am just a mum”?
Could it be: “I run a home, look after my husband, 2 dogs and beautiful 5 and 8 year old girls”?
Simple examples, perhaps, but the thing about these kinds of questions (and answers) are that they are really the opener, or frame for the rest of the interaction.
Actually….most people don’t really want to hear about your bad back or sleepless night, your best friend does, of course – but not usually anyone else.
“Look for the Happiness in Your World”
If someone perceives talking to you as a happy positive thing to do, they are far more likely to think of you as a happy positive person.
And as you know – if you walk into a room with a smile, people smile back – you have reflected back to you exactly what it is you portray (or in that case EMANATE!!!).
So an easy way to suddenly be surrounded by people who are sunny and positive – is to cut out the self-deprecation and focus on what’s good.
This is not to say we shouldn’t be authentic, keep things bottled up or pretend – but just shift the focus, to the more enjoyable parts of your life.
It really is a very fast, very simple way to make all your relationships with people happier.
So the point of all this waffle is:
Your children are watching every move you make and hearing every word you say. Are they hearing their World (i.e. YOU) is a happy, fun one… or are they worrying about its (YOUR) problems.
When children are very young they form their opinion of the World and how they interact with those around them – and we are told that this is largely set for life.
So we can model a positive life for our children and feel happier ourselves.
3 Step Simple ‘Cheer The F&ck-Up’ Action Plan
1. Write a list of all the things you like about your life
Once you start you will really get into this.
Do you have;
helpful supportive parents, are you reading a good book, do you love how your house looks with the candles on in the evening? Is the walk to school really lovely as the leaves are changing colour… do you have a night out to look forward to?
Make a list of things big and small.
When you are talking to people THESE are the things great for small talk – rather than “bloody men, he never puts the bins out…”.
Start describing your life positively, then see how many people will want to be a positive part of it.
2. “My arse is SO big”
Practice taking compliments. I heard the other day, this little exchange:
“You look great, have you lost weight?”
answered with “God, no – I need to, my arse is SO big, I can’t fit into anything”.
This is similar to someone handing you a bunch of flowers and you replying
“No thanks, what would I want those for?”
No-one feels good.
Here is the secret to taking compliments:
You look at the lovely complimenter (I know that’s not a word, it doesn’t matter, stay with me)
you look at them square in the eye,
give a warm, genuine smile – and say
Everyone feels good. Seriously, try it. American people actually do this without squirming or needing the toilet.
3. Catch’em being GOOD!
Catch your children being good.
Parents, run ragged can often feel as though all they do is tell their children off. (No-one feels good. See a pattern emerging?)
Every time they are playing nicely, eating their food well, show good manners, put their shoes on by themselves, give you a lovely smile – CELEBRATE IT!
Make sure the positive messages they hear about themselves (and you) far, far outweigh the negative ones. Even if it’s half term, its been raining solidly for 4 days and they are driving you postal.
The rewards you will very quickly reap are a happier household where the attention children crave is the good kind and you building closer happier relationships.
You can smile in the knowledge that your child will grow into an adult who has confidence and thinks positively about themselves and you.
Who knows, they may even come round for Sunday dinner sometimes!
So…how are you?
Have a positive week
Love from Tanya the WiggleWaggle Team xx