In a ‘standing in front of people, delivering a speech on stage’, kind of way.
It was one of the busiest threads I’ve had for a long time, and the conversation turned to confidence in general or lack of it in more everyday scenarios; in the workplace, at social occasions, at the leisure centre – even at the school gates.
“I can’t get in a swimming pool at this size”
“Do they like me?”
“Am I boring them?”
“Are they laughing at me trying to learn this?”
“Does she think I don’t know what I’m talking about?”
“Do I look pretty/handsome/young enough”
“Everyone at this meeting is so knowledgeable – I can’t speak up.”
“No-one has bought my thing/read my blog/clicked a like… I must be useless”
It all comes under the human epidemic called:
Understanding that this condition is practically Universal is the key to moving beyond it.
Ask the question: good enough for who? (Or whom – I dunno)
This ‘Enough-ness’ is an imaginary and an ever disappearing horizon.
The closer you think you are getting to it – the more it will disappear out of view.
It’s like that
[[[[[ UNDERSTAND THIS: ]]]]]]
The people you are stressing might not like you – are highly likely to be doing the same
You are very likely not to be boring them – or they wouldn’t be there listening to you.
She probably DOES think that you know what you’re talking about.
So, hey didn’t buy click/read/buy the thing.
It might not be the day they were looking for it.
Or it might need changing.
Or it might get a flurry tomorrow.
None of that is about you personally.
The people in the meeting are wondering if the last thing THEY said out loud was stupid.
(that’s a whole other thing – we are doing a workshop on that in June. You should come. It’ll help)
So this is not about making you feel ‘Good Enough’ or persuading you to think positive, chant mantras into waterfalls.
That stuff has its place
It’s about walking away from the whole bloody thing.
What people think of you is their business,
And a million other things are more relevant in how they react than you are.(and it’s almost always more positive than you expect)You can’t be in charge of all that.
You can barely influence it.And while you wear yourself out worrying, catastrophising, and people-pleasing…
the best years of your life are happening moment-by-moment.
We want to give you permission to walk away from all that, get out of your head, and fully into those moments.
All you have to do is be you, here – in those moments.
You are good enough by default.
The rest is just that disappearing horizon.
Also… if you are ready to fire on all cylinders?
To feel shinier and have all more fun?
Want to feel healthy and happy in your skin and carve out the perfect life FOR YOU
(not anyone else).
(sod anyone else)
If you’ve scrolled past enough memes and motivational quotes for a lifetime, and are thinking:
I’m READY IT’S MY TURN NOW I WANT A PIECE OF THE ACTION
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