So, to understand the loyalty to Slimming World that some of the ladies we work with, have (to begin with) –
I thought I had better ‘go see’.
So I was actually looking forward to something that read pretty well on paper:
No calorie counting
Transactional analysis incorporated into sessions
Healthy swaps
Satiety consideration in eating plans…
Exercise plans
It was genuinely the SECOND most bizarre 2 hours I have spent in the past few weeks,
I won’t give you a step-by-step account, as it I am pretty certain it would descend into something “not-very-grown-up”
And definitely be way too long.
n.b. (the OTHER MOST bizarre two hours, I haven’t quite recovered from, but no doubt – I will write about it at some point)
A couple of points before we start:
- It was NOT local, purposely
- I did go with an open mind
- I know it can vary by leader
- I have only been to one
It was BUSY!
There had to be 50+ people there
Now I am not being mean,
and I am sure it’s not the same everywhere..
But she would have been in the category of very obese.
Which absolutely isn’t an issue.
Maybe a really good thing as she would identify with her customers struggles.
But she had been leading SW classes for 14 years, and following the plan – so I think is fair to note this, as she was leading a group of women whose aim was to become ‘smaller’.
Even writing that sentence makes me feel uncomfortable – but it was the elephant in the room
(And that sentence did too – but I couldn’t think of a different one)
It would be fair to say that.. it didn’t look to be really working out for her.
If she came to us to do exercise, we’d have to do it very carefully and gently, and possibly liaise with her healthcare professionals. This is not a judgement. If you know us, you’ll know that would never be the case. This was just the way it was.
And that is if she came to us for help with that.
(I wish I could help her, actually)
But she wouldn’t.
Because even though there were questions about ‘Body Magic’
(which was the exercise part about SW that had given me most hope)
…this lady didn’t subscribe to it.
She told the group – ‘that she didn’t DO exercise’.
but there was a booklet if they wanted to.
The first hour consisted of people standing, cattle-style in a queue to be weighed. I felt degraded and deflated on their behalf.
Some of the ladies confided to me that they don’t eat at all on ‘group’ days
until AFTER their weigh-in “so they get a better ‘loss’“.
These are people who are allowed to vote and have free access to our public highways – and they are paying for a clinically overweight, rather condescending woman to weigh them.
Is it just me?
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE??? These are clever women. Something’s amiss.
There were odd cultish elements.
People used the terms ‘at group’, and losses, and ‘syns’ which for some reason irritated me, but I suppose I was already feeling protective.
The room had an infant school kind of vibe, or a toddler group without the toddlers
a ‘Roll of Honour’ board,
AND STICKERS!!!!!!
I promise you there was a colouring sheet.
I promise you.
(I found myself so close to stealing a sheet of the stickers, like I used to at school and sticking them on peoples backs)
Grow up Grant.
I would have preferred real medically/nutritionally accurate information,
I am a bit boring like that like that.
For that hour – other than your 1 minute weighing and ‘therapy’ time. “Got your meals planned? Good. Lovely. Next”
There was NOTHING to do…
..except peruse the school Infant School style ‘interest’ table
with ‘interesting’ things that people had bought in
Highlights;
- A measuring scoop
- a packet of mug shots (my filthy autocorrect almost changed this to shits…I almost left it)
- some Diet Coke chocolate cakes
and another one with Slimming World Products and books to buy on.
Do you know what, I am not going to even talk about the food much, today.
I’m saving that.
I’ll just give you a couple of examples…
I. Have. No. Words.
Haven’t seen Dairylea, since the Infants.
To be fair…these were the funniest ones, and I did say I wasn’t going to talk about the food..
But I have never heard such a deliberately confusing barrage of clap-trap in all my life.
It wasn’t ALL wrong, just kind of jumbled and unnecessarily complicated.
Some of it was just scientifically damn wrong, though.
I am not even going to whinge like a toddler about their branded Cereal Bars which they suggest you snack on…
which are 30% fat.
(Not the good kind of fat either)
It was the way they have somehow tapped into the psyche of huge numbers of otherwise perfectly intelligent, clear thinking women
and attracted them, week-on-week, to this extraordinary 2 hour, mentally draining, time-share style… coffee group thing.
…that was what sparked my interest, Dr Watson.
Anyway – the next half an hour was going through everyone’s ‘Losses’ and ‘Gains’.
Clapping
People received rounds of applause. I started to pretend to clap after a while because my hands had gone red.
Probably after the 35th time.
A really pretty, sweet young thing hadn’t ‘gained’ for the first time in a month.
So she got a round of applause, and looked delighted.
What was it about that little scene that gave me the eebie-jeebies?
She was happy, right?
On the right track…
Hmmmm.
An older lady had ‘gained 2lbs’ that week, and despite a rather patronising round of applause and a ‘never mind, you’ll do better next week…’
She definitely was teary and couldn’t wait to leave.
I wanted to tell her: “I actually weighed myself daily over two months recently just as an experiment.
I normally never do at all.
In fact we don’t have scales – they’ve gone back in the loft.
I ‘gained’ and ‘lost’ 8lbs over both those months in exactly the same pattern each month”
If I had been coming to be weighed at SW I probably would have got a sticker in the downward phases of my chart.
I would probably have been crying in the toilet on one of the other weeks.
Someone was.
I am a Lady
I am a lady.
I have hormones.
This is what happens.
Also, as my dad used to say: “you can lose 2lb having a decent poo” – not strictly accurate…
People shared stories of why they have had a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ week.
The leader certainly had her own little clique of ladies, who she interacted with almost exclusively.
A couple of them seemed to be unpaid assistants.
Two of them slightly sniggered at a question from a lady at the back of the room.
I had an urge to ask them to stand in the corner and take away any stickers they might have.
And no colouring till after play.
It actually was a perfectly sensible question.
The leader answered, “you need to check that in your book”.
I had a fleeting, horrible and probably unfair thought..
Were the leader and her clique the girls who didn’t get in with the ‘in-crowd’ at school,
….and now they were getting their own back?
So then there was the ‘talk’.
In short – it was a sales pitch.
I can only imagine that the franchisees arecommissioned, and if this is the case..
…this one had had a very good night.
Why ARE people going back?
Why do they want to be treated like children?
I thought it was going to be the
“come and make like-minded friends”
thing.
But I saw several people sitting quietly on their own looking at their phones,
whilst other people who seemed to know each other chatting with their backs to them.
Paper Clips
When I have a big admin task, I buy stationery.
I get the folders, the bright coloured paper clips, new software.
Which makes me feel like I have done something about the actual job.
Eventually, after throwing money at it for a while I sit down and actually crack on.
So I think it was a combination of factors that Slimming World has got JUST right.
(By the way, for those of you who are interested in such things,
SW currently scores slightly lower than WW – for long-term success for their customers.)
Both have very poor rates.
So I think this is the alchemy….
Let people throw money at a problem
i.e. selling them snacks that are 30% fat
but like my paper clips – the things they sell won’t SOLVE the problem.
PLUS
Making people OBSESSED with their weight,
with CONSTANT weighing
THIS IS THE KEY
PLUS
Extrinsic motivation;
charts and applause and stickers
(like we try to avoid with children as they grow, because it doesn’t teach them self motivation)
Did I mention the
“Loser of the Week” award….?
I am saying nothing
Everyone likes applause.
Surely fitting into your jeans would be better, no?
PLUS
Confusing people rather than educating them.
So they need to come back.
(on that note – and I have no doubt that others are better this woman had seriously NO nutritional knowledge, she made some HOWLING, basic mistakes)
The fabulous ‘Fat is a Feminist issue’ Orbach, called it the diet club STRAITJACKET.
PLUS
Its a club.
A place to meet each week.
A lady explained her SW attendance the other day as the only evening out her husband doesn’t mind her having.
(she doesn’t even do the diet)
That’s a depressing state of affairs… there wasn’t even any music and the coffee was
actually disgusting.
She’s gotta organise a better night out than that.
Get people together and you can support each other
YES.
TRUE.
That was what my OTHER BIZARRE 2 hours was about.
And it’s just what you do, right?
Need to lose weight?
Go to a Slimming Club – its obvious.
Much easier than actually doing something about it.
If those people spent their 2 hours and the money they spent on SW doing some really fun fitness..
each week.
It would up the success rate from under 16%
– roughly 100%
Those are the facts.
I wasn’t going to talk about the food, but telling people to allocate £5 of their hard-earned grocery money each week like this:
Is like giving a smoker a couple of drags on your roll-up ….to keep them going until the next meeting
and expecting them not to have a cheeky one out of the back door until then.
I got a SW leaflet through the door the other day you probably got it too.
Parmesan cheese, white pasta and 4 rashers of bacon were the main ingredients.
Don’t address the main issue, the sugar/insulin cycle, the processed, nutrient free empty calorie foods.
Because ‘a little of what you fancy does you good’.
No, telling people if they pay you, they can still have bacon rashers, and Crunchie bars.. .and you will get a round of applause.
Sorry, I wasn’t going to talk about the food, was I?
I just hate, hate, hate, hate how cynical it all is.
They are even pretty cynical in how they treat their Franchisees.
And the MILLIONS they spend on TV adverts, with models rather than real attendees
(they denied that, then they owned up).
And I don’t think the consultants are lying to you they genuinely aren’t trained to know any better.
They are trained and incentivised
to sell you things.
(Institutionalised Fat Shaming wrapped up in something pretending to help.
There is noone easier to sell to than a person in pain – marketing 101.)
These self-employed women are not trained in nutrition, or how to uncover the issues that are REALLY keeping you in the wretched diet yo-yo that has probably robbed you of many happy years.
If you need specific help, find yourself a qualified dietician, or at least someone properly trained in nutrition.
We can help you with that with our University of Food course in Human Upgrade
(we ARE properly trained to levels 4/5 respectively)
OR happily point you to others that we know are good.
Let us know how you get on.