Zero Calorie Food
I can’t believe I am telling you about this…
So when I was asked if I would give my opinion of a diet food, I sort of rolled my eyes and thought; “which company am I going to annoy THIS time…?”
It will be nonsense,
It will be heavily processed rubbish
It won’t be like eating real food.
Hmmmmm.
Go, on then – send it across and I will take a look.
And in a couple of days time, I will slag it off.
First impressions…it looks GOOD!
Ok – What Is It?
Ok so they are sold as Rice and Noodles.
Well actually they are neither Rice or Noodles…
BUT THEY LOOK LIKE THEY ARE
They are made from the Kognac Plant,
(Amorphophallus Konjac) which is a pretty plant with a single red flower.
It is dried, and then made into noodles and rice shapes, and packaged in liquid.
The Benefits
- It is a soluble fibre – in theory this should LOWER cholesterol
- It has NO fat
- 100g of rice/noodles will give you 4/7 calories
- (as opposed to 111/138 in the regular kind)
- It has a low G.I. rating – so it keeps you full up!
So with a nice tomato/veg sauce…this is an EXTREMELY
Low-calorie meal….
So great as a kind of CHEAT WAY to eat less, feel fuller, and improve your health.
Sounds magical, right?
You may not know as many ballet dancers as I do but the awful truth is, they sometimes go to DRASTIC measures to keep their weight down.
A very typical one is eating TOILET PAPER to fill their stomachs, which obviously doesn’t get digested, but they feel full.
And then there is the perennial ‘Diet Coke and fags‘ models diet (yes, they do this).
Both of which will get you on the spectrum from feeling like total crap, to actually dying…
However…
The Drawbacks
- It is expensive.
The little packs in the picture are over £2 each.
That is enough (just about, but I am greedy) for one person.
SO that’s £8 at least for a family of 4… before you start adding anything else.
- It isn’t amazing tasting
It’s not AWFUL. It’s doesn’t actually taste of
anything actually, maybe a little bit more rubbery than the real thing.
- It smells of fish when you open it
This is actually the liquid it is stored in and you are directed to rinse 3 or 4 times.
To be fair, after that it, doesnt smell at all, but its a bit offputting to begin with.
Even fresh fish, shouldn’t really smell like fish..
- There is a choking risk
This is even mentioned on the packet.
I didn’t choke – but I knew what they meant.
- Texture is a bit…weird.
The rice was a bit chewy, and the noodles a bit ..sort of rubbery – but not TOO bad, with a nice sauce.
It’s Palatable.
You’d get used to it
I have eaten way worse at Gambado.
(Sue me – it’s true)
So far, so MEH.
But there are a couple of things on the very short list of ingredients that trouble me, the main one being:
-
Calcium Hydroxide
Commonly found in:
- Cement
- Limewater
- Many industrial solvents and cleaners
- Thousands of construction products,
- Flooring Strippers
- Brick Cleaners
- Cement thickening products
- Hair relaxers/straighteners
Although these products have been passed as safe to eat in the UK…someone, somewhere decided that the levels are low enough not to pose significant risk.
Strangely….still doesn’t entice me…
Actually Calcium Hydroxide poisoning is VERY serious…often LETHAL.
I am not saying that these products will kill you. (That would be quite an embarrassing way to go..)
I don’t suppose it will. But I don’t know – gotta trust the EXPERRRRDDS..
Just worth looking at it in the whole.
Q: Why would you buy this?
A: To save some calories.
Q: Why would you want that?
A: To make you lose weight?
Q: Is that a good way to get into shape?
A: DEFINITELY NOT.
This is pretty close to the
toilet paper/diet coke and fag effect
Filling your tummy with empty calories and tricking yourself that you are full of food.
And the Low-Carb Diet… (don’t get me started)
After a very short period of eating this way,
- Your metabolism slows
- You have no energy
- You get headaches
- You get bad breath
And if you are anything like me…. you would be miserable and borderline crazed gun-wielding psychopath
Seriously, you take away my food – you are dicing with death.
I’m like one of those Gremlins off that film
I LOVE food, and lots of it, thank you.
Actual food, that tastes nice and is all chewy and crunchy and lemony, and spicy and sweet and savoury, and WELL GARLICKY.
Not stuff that just about passes as palatable.
If you don’t choke on it.
The secrets to getting into shape are:
-
Eat only nutritious food
-
Proper Exercise
-
Drink enough water
-
Sleep Enough
-
Not Panicking
-
Giving yourself enough time
That’s it.
We’ve been looking for short cuts to this for nearly 100 years.
And the more science we have, the more proof we get.
Eating toilet paper to artificially keep your WEIGHT down sounds MENTAL, doesn’t it?
Products like these – even just in concept are the same thing.
Slimming Clubs, where you just invest a little bit of money, and a little bit of time, and a whole deal of obsession with every bite that goes in your mouth… and its Syns or Points or Cheats….are, again – avoiding the issue
It’s not complicated.
But like science has, we need to come round to the idea – that it really is the only way.
Long term; without ending up poorer, fatter and gunning down innocent people.
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