I bought this dress for my youngest daughter’s prom.
We don’t know if she’ll get to wear it.
Her Year 11 friends have collectively decided not to get their hopes up.
And despite being dealt a terrible hand this year, I am so proud at how they are all having fun online and keeping each other’s spirits up.
15-year-olds are genuinely the most hilarious people you’ll ever meet.
Proper comedy geniuses.
I howl.
Uncertainty is a motherf^cker, and this past year has given us a perverse Masterclass in that.
Usually, in this bleak part of the year, we combat the greyness with holiday brochures.
Summer fun, festivals, parties, barbecues.. proms – we IMAGINE.
And it keeps us going.
But here we are – almost a year on, and have, in an almost Pavlovian way collectively decided not to get our hopes up.
On the one hand, we Brits do secretly enjoy a good moan – but we also enjoy a good time, and making the best of things.
We are, however, not used to – not being able to hope.
It’s almost as though having hope will make the disappointment 10 times worse, so we don’t go there.
If you don’t expect much, you can’t be let down.
Almost the same way that anti-depressants stop you from getting too down.
But they also stop you getting too happy, or excited, or enthusiastic.
I do get that.
It’s tough as balls.
So this isn’t a ‘look on the bright side’ kind of post, as I know that’s quite annoying.
I could list some FACTS like;In mid-Feb 2019 we had a temp of 21.6 degrees.
(so that would be two weeks from now, this year)
2020 had the warmest Spring for 100 years … and it just kept warm and lovely until September
Or that over 98.7% of Earth’s humans have survived this pandemic – and there’s already a vaccine.
That this WILL end.
I could encourage you to hold onto that – and have hope – but actually, I don’t think that’s helpful.
Hope is the thing that makes you really easy to advertise to.
Things like slimming products, cosmetics and fashion rely on it.
What would be most useful is acceptance.
That’s not giving up or giving in.
It’s acknowledging that the way things are – are the way things are.
I think that gives us opportunity.
No one can deny that this is the greyest, coldest time of the year.
On the back of a year of pain and suffering.
Layer after layer of what would be comedy kicks in the balls, if they didn’t hurt so much.
BUT
What if you could be OK with things as they are now?
What if you could find things, little things to be glad about?
Find someone to be kind to as an end, rather than a means to one.
Just to be nice.
What if you could develop new little rituals and things you love?
Little stuff.
Really little stuff.
Like rather than looking at the GLOBAL CATASTROPHE ARRRGHHHHHHHHH that you can do f^ck-all about,
What if you zoomed in super close.
What if you made something.
What if you took pride in something you learned?
Switched off the telly and learned to meditate.
What if you gave yourself a spa day.
What if you wrote the kind of letter to someone that you’d love to receive, yourself.
What if you looked after yourself like you would your own child.
What if you stopped torturing yourself about things in your past.
What if you became so happy with your own company and who you are
that when things DO get better and the sun comes out and everyone can hug each other again,
that you LOVE it… but you’ve already levelled up.
You can appreciate things, not from a place of desperation, but of gratitude and joy.
So hope is great.
I’m all for hope.
I do hope she gets to wear the dress because she loves it.
But if not it will be OK too.
Acceptance would absolutely kick Hope’s arse in a fight.
I recommend it.
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