Spoiler alert:
This post might make you feel worse before it makes you feel better.
If you’re not up for that, maybe skip ahead to the cat videos and Matt Hancock memes.
Whatever works.
I was waiting for Alice’s video to start on Zoom yesterday
(hiding some of my last-minute desk clutter on the floor to appear poised)
You know when you can hear each other before you can see each other,
and you get one last chance to check your teeth?
ME: “Hey lady, how you feeling?”
ALICE: “ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Alice popped up on the screen mid angry roar:
(she’s fine that I’m sharing this – I haven’t changed her name)
ME: Not great then?
ALICE: NO.
ME: How are you actually feeling?
ALICE: GRRRRRRRRRRRrrrr-AAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!
ME: I’m getting the general vibe there- but can you be more specific?
Homeschooling can kiss my arse – no-one’s learning anything and we are all shouting at each other,
James (husband) is making more mess than the kids,
the Recycling bin hasn’t been collected and the house is full of boxes because it’s raining,
The children have gone feral and have no discernible body clock any more; they are up + down through the night like a wrestling tag team,
I haven’t had a haircut for nearly a year and it looks like it,
There is not one moment – LITERALLY NOT A SECOND when this house is quiet,
And I’m supposed to get a Project Plan to my boss by close of play Friday.
ME: (glad this isn’t in person, or I would duck, because I know what’s coming)
But how do you FEEL?
ALICE: You know that I love you with all my heart Tanya… BUT HOW DO YOU THINK I F**KING FEEL?
Well obviously I could take a stab at it – as, most excellent reader – could you.
But it’s not until we stop and pick those things apart that we can start to take control.
It’s like when you add chilli powder, then cumin, then curry powder, then cayenne, then cloves, then sriracha, then chipotle, then paprika…
What does it taste of?
It tastes of BLOODY HOT, with a hint of PAIN.
(I like cooking)
When life has got too spicy – it’s tempting to call it OVERWHELM.
(If you did our Overwhelm challenge, you’ll know how we approach that)
But what’s more helpful than just stopping at OVERWHELM.
Is doing something about it.
Look at the definition – Whelm is enough on its own!!!
We’re having a webinar on Emotional Eating tonight in Human Upgrade – I know it’s going to be popular.
Emotional eating is like emotional anything.
A response to how you feel.
For eating that’s quite specific, so there are specific things we can do about it.
But the place to start is always with those emotions.
What actually is happening.
What are the actual spices in that mix?
FRUSTRATION that you’re trying to be a teacher, when you’re actually a Project Manager.
TIREDNESS because you’ve had disturbed sleep
DISAPPOINTMENT that your husband isn’t doing what you feel is his share
GUILT that the children aren’t with their friends or getting the education they deserve
EMBARRASSMENT that you’re not looking the groomed way you want to
IMPATIENCE for this whole shit show to end
BOREDOM at being stuck in these four walls
Once you’ve picked it apart you can take the component feelings one at a time.
Work out the feeling you would prefer for each of those.
They might not be an obvious answer to all of them, but rather than trying to completely ‘fix’ each one…
think of a way you could get one step away from the feeling you don’t want
(which is one step closer to the one you do want).
Brainstorm every possible solution to each of the things making you roar
(Human Upgrade see your Bridge Models.)
- Put your solutions in order of do-ability.
- Tackle ONE at a time.
- When that thing’s tackled, and not until then … move on to the next.
- Rinse and repeat.
Pick it apart.
Feelings do not have logic.
They happen in an entirely different part of the brain
(which is actually our default – feelings and emotions trump logic every time)
Take control by creating a logical plan.
Work through it.
Don’t aim to fix it all at once
(obviously we worked through all of Alice’s individual issues, she stopped shouting/swearing at me –
and went off to kick some serious butt)
So – How do YOU feel?
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