If you’re reading this in the UK
And are a female – You’ll know what I mean.
If you’re not…. welcome to a window into what British women do.
I have collected ‘Sorrys’ this week.
Hairy Bits
One lady apologised profusely for hairy armpits.
At least 3 times.
In advance of lifting some weights, once during
and then again afterwards.
This is similar to when women apologise to their other halves
about not having freshly shaven legs, underarms… or other bits.
In the same way as I really really really really, couldn’t care less
or even notice someone’s fluffy oksters (Scottish – look it up)
I am just glad you’ve come along to exercise
(as he is to be getting to examine those bits up close…you get my drift)
Bumping Into People
Standing at the bar, with a glass of freshly squeezed vegetable juice, or
possibly Pinot Grigio…so hard to remember…
a gaggle of Body Shop smelling, best outfit wearing, birthday present holding
ladies poured through the doors of a very ‘ye olde’ English pub.
If you are reading from the US – you would go crazy (we would say postal)
for this place.
Anyway, what looked like the birthday girl (I say girl – she looked a very well-kempt 40 something)
bumped me slightly amidst air kisses and shrieks with her friends.
HORROR
A few drops of my drink were spilled.
You would have thought that she had just taken one of my kidneys.
OH MY GOD!!!! I AM SO SO SO SORRY!!! ARE YOU OK?????
And then another check to see if I was later in the evening.
And a final (admittedly slurrier one) as she left… slightly assisted by a friend
and wearing these:
It’s the same with any inadvertent arm brushing and slight touches with shopping bags.
The tiniest contact and we are mortified…
Cinema arm rests – forgeddaboutit..
Asking The Way/Time/Anything
Notice how many questions you begin with: “Sorry”.
Sorry – would it be OK to change the appointment?
Sorry – is it OK if I move your bag so I can sit down?
Sorry – I am new here, could you show me where…
Sorry – do you have the time please?
Sorry – were you next in the queue?
Sorry – what did you say?
Sorry: Expressing sorrow and regret.
It is perfectly fine to change an appointment you are paying for,
asking someone for some information,
or to move insensitively placed belongings..
No sorrow or regret necessary.
Save that for when you’ve actually done something worth saying sorry about 😉
Not Having a Show Home
While it is ‘lovely’ to spend the day cleaning, tidying and rearranging
cushions…
real life tends not to allow for that every time someone drops in.
(I do know a lady that sets the alarm for 6am each morning
so she can clean – JUST IN CASE – the postman has to deliver something.
But that is the realm of the borderline personality disorder)
*Knock Knock*
(SCREAM) ‘HELLO!!!’ Hug, ‘so nice to see you’.
Followed by
‘I am SO sorry about the mess’…
(even when it isn’t even a mess)
We run round cleaning at aerobic levels of activity to try to pretend that we always live like that.
Because your friend’s house looks so ‘up-together’ all the time.
She will have run around for 3 hours before you came round as well.
You could both just chill out.
Not Wearing Make-Up/
or having done your hair.
I am SO SORRY about the state of me…
Followed by the reasons you haven’t spent the afternoon in the salon.
Your friends want to see you.
As you are.
And real men PREFER you without makeup.
I’m just putting that out there…
(because it’s true)
She wants to show you her new shoes,
moan about her mother in law
and a video of her husband twerking at the family BBQ last weekend..
In fact you looking too groomed and fabulous…
will only make her feel under-dressed.
The ‘I’m Not Sorry’, Sorry
What U.S. people I have met are really good at –
is (apart from random, insane levels of politeness),
is doing DIRECT well.
Hi, this steak is overcooked, could I have another one
medium rare – as that is what I ordered.
Certainly madam, I apologise – right with you.
Thank you.
Job done.
^^^^^
Very sensible non-use and use of the sorry.
UK-side.
Excuse me – I am SORRY, but I quite clearly said that I wanted my steak rare,
and I’m sorry but this is clearly at LEAST medium!!!!!
Passive Aggressive Sorry
“Sorry no-one seems to like the dinner tonight,
perhaps I could’ve saved the hour I just spent on it and next time you could get
yourself a take-away, and I’ll forget about trying to keep you lot healthy.
Sorry I bothered.”
Born out of;
Not QUITE being brave enough to REALLY complain or address things
(so stifled anger),
Sugar-coated hostility (the coward’s way out of dealing with a situation directly)
Sounding like a victim (but actually positioning yourself in the role of aggressor)
Negative energy.
Waste of effort.
Little bit grubby.
Everyone feels bad.
Things left unsaid tend to fester… it drives a wedge between you and the other person
when a calm, direct one-to-one about it could potentially bring you closer.
Also being bitter gives you wrinkles…
This month our ladies doing The Project with us have been
working on self-esteem and confidence
Sometimes a major change can be made just minor adjustments to the words you choose.
The way you stand, the way you use your voice
your handshake, your eye-contact….
hundreds of tiny little tweaks can not only make you APPEAR more self-confident
BUT ACTUALLY FEEL IT.
Once you feel it, you ARE it – and the World reacts accordingly.
Not airy-fairy stuff – just practical things that work.
Of all the areas we have worked on; the fat loss, breaking the diet yo-yo,
sugar and snacking addiction, the work on lifting low mood,
the fitness, the meditation…
THIS is the area where the results ARE immediate.
Whereas the others….we’ll be honest…take a while to bed in.
Others are addressing the other areas of life that were causing the pain,
moving forward and having more FUN!
fancy a FREE 30 minute coaching call with us? CLICK HERE