So.. I had a conversation tonight.
The woman concerned was mid-squat
(which I agree sounds a bit dodgy)
and was talking about the changes she had made to her body.
Her hips have shrunk and toned up, rather dramatically,
and she’s got as fit as a fiddle since January.
So, she was talking about how, when she measures herself – the bits that have shrunk, she puts down to measuring herself wrong “pulling the tape too tight?”
and the bits that hadn’t shrunk that week she gave herself a hard time over.
And she also saw how illogical that all is…
I’d been thinking earlier about how we throw spanners into our own works so much.
It reminded me of a little scene I saw in the park once.
Little boy (about 2 and a half) was playing with his 1 year old sister.
She so nearly was able to walk.. teetery standing..then a few wobbly steps.
Every time she got going – up would come her brother and kick her gently in the back of the knees.
Down she’d go – look a bit surprised, then off she’d go again.
This went on for about 5 minutes.
I won’t lie…it was funny.
The thing is.. most of us do this to ourselves in one way or another.
Which one of these sounds like you?
Habitual Knee-Kicker
Sugar, Overeating, Booze, Fags, Staying up too late – even continually seeing people you KNOW just piss you off have become so part of what you do, who you are – that changing things never lasts…and you slip back.
Control-Freak Knee-Kicker
When things get tough, your need for control is what sabotages your plans. (Stay with me) Because we can’t definitely control the success (it might not work, I may not last, I may go back to my old ways) you resort to what you CAN control. If you decide that you’re not going to succeed – then you were in charge of that. And it freaks you out less.
Thrill-Seeking Knee-Kicker
Although you might not be an actual streaker, (incidentally streakers rock), or like the perfectly-sensible-by-weekday football hooligan looking for a Saturday dust-up after the match…thrill seeking might be your downfall.
Sod it/it’s the weekend/it’s a bank holiday/just the one/oh go on then…that little voice in the back of your head which says “life is for living – you MUST have that cream puff”
When you had eaten perfectly healthily all week.
The Poor-Me Knee Kicker
No this is actually a serious one. If you start to believe the inaccurate negative things you tell yourself (like the lady with the measuring tape) rather than the actual truth – then you don’t believe you are ENTITLED to success. Deep down you don’t believe you DESERVE to be happy.
Here’s an exercise next time you find yourself being a Poor-Me Knee-Kicker
1) Write down that thing you are telling yourself
2) Then some actual EVIDENCE for that
3) Then..some actual EVIDENCE for the entire opposite of what you’re saying
4) Lastly..what you would say to a friend who was saying the same things
Now how true does it seem?
We have had our first few days with the first group of ladies taking part in Wise & Gorgeous: The Project.
Already we’ve talked at length to people who fit into each of the knee-kicking categories.
In fact everyone felt as though they fit into one or more.
Working out which you are… and the truth of what you do – can be an epiphany.
Only then can you work out what you do next – to make sure you next time you decide to do something – you damn well do it.
With the sabotage out of the way, things become so much easier.
It IS possible to change old habits, to learn new ways of doing things – but having problems like overweight, anxiety, habits, and health issues, all overlapping – it seems like a big old overwhelming mountain.
But you have to start with the truth.
Then unravel the tangle bit by bit.
Love