I am SO bad
At finding my way anywhere.
Claire’s brain thinks in pictures she’s sh^t hot at driving/directions and can do meditations at the drop of a hat.
You say:
Claire – can we have a meditation about a castle? And she immediately launches in; with sounds and smells and detailed scenarios, she is SEEING. Doesn’t need to plan it. In fact if she DOES plan it… it puts her off. When she finishes a meditation or a presentation… she can often have very little idea of what she just said.
My brain won’t do that. I need to plan, script, rehearse and practice the things I do. I like to craft them.
I do the ranty stuff. And the nerdy stuff. Video editing, and softening the P-P-Ps on audio recordings or putting a smooth transition on a workout video.
It’s not till it’s bedded in that I can confidently show other people how to do a thing. But then I can do it for the rest of my life. I remember my grade 1 ballet exam.
All of it.
This brain / division of labour organisation seems to work brilliantly.
It looks like we take Starsky & Hutch turns of being good cop, bad cop in The Project. Not too sure which ended up being which.
If I park at the supermarket, I am not being lazy…I can’t find my car.
I can’t.
I mean. I already know I won’t.
But if I am not pushed for time, it’s reasonably fun to try.
If I lose the sat nav… I genuinely will have to live at Fleet Services. (Or phone a grown up to guide me back)
If there was a dyslexia for directions – I have it in a pretty extreme way.
My mind ‘map’ doesn’t work like normal maps. But it does work for me.
I can SEE choreography, and music, and writing, ideas and connections – but can’t always find my way back from Portsmouth.
Let’s do an exercise… We’ll aim to imagine your life as a map.
Get the World map and rub it all out. Blank sheet.
Your map is probably smaller than than the World one, unless you do a lot of International Travel. So zoom in a bit.
Where you take the children, your parents house, the shops you go to, the places you eat, your friends, the doctors, where you work, the petrol station
Imagine them plotted out on the map.
Imagine the little commuting lines that join them up.
Then overlay another map – but this one is a time travelling one
(different colour labels, or I’ll get confused)
So this time its FEELINGS
….events, people, places, or regular happenings in your life so far where you are when you’re happy/exhilarated/excited/euphoric …
And then another colour for: sad, heartbroken, despondent, depressed, frustrated, hopeless, exhausted
Then bored, unappreciated, undervalued, stressed worried, guilty
Or that amazing place/person/feeling you daydream to. Money/time/details no option. All different colours. You have to keep track somehow. I would use highlighters, but that’s just me, I like stationery.
Have a look at all that. I mean imagine all those things clearly for a second.
And then get the rubber out, and wipe it all clean.
(If you’re reading this in the U.S….stop sniggering, rubber means eraser. We started this)
Imagine if you could be the cartographer and draw the map your own life.
However your brain likes to do it.
Would you draw back the places that made you feel bad, or ashamed, or a failure? Or just the happy places?
Is it an over-complication?
I spoke to a lady tonight that has an illness that she would tell you herself…doesn’t look promising.
She is optimistically hoping to make it through the next five years to see 50.
I think if anyone can she will.
She described how she is approaching things faced with…what she’s faced with. And it sounded exactly like rubbing out (erasing, ffs) her map and starting again.
Having spa days for the first time in her life, she’s reading books, she’s meditating, she’s exercising… because it gives her energy and she loves it.
She dances.
She’s cut out the people who used to annoy, or drain
or frustrate her.
And has surrounded herself with people that build her up support her, are on her side, share the same goals. She’s let go of old squabbles and forgiven old grievances. She told me that 6 months in, she feels that she she has had the best time of her life, and will continue like this for as long as she can.
And that she wished everyone would do the same.
And that for her – sh^t just got simple. And obvious.
On the back of one of the most inspiring and humbling conversations of my entire life
Can I please pass on the message
You CAN scrub out and redraw your map. I just saw someone who doesn’t feel well a lot of the time do exactly that.
We are here for a while and then we are not.
Why aren’t we filling it with the stuff that makes us feel good, so all the people around us feel good, and it spreads
If we all did that, it would be like natural selection.
All the cr&p would fizzle away and we’d be left with maps that work. For everyone. Which could only multiply.
And get more refined.
Support causes, make detailed, beautiful things to be proud ofrelax,be spontaneous, have fun, help each other, build networks of strength.
Hippy woo-woo sh^t – we know. But what if we did?
And this is usually the point at which I tell you that Fitcamp starts on Monday, and how it will make you feel better and less tired.
People tell us that just a month makes them redefine their maps in a way that they never thought possible.
And I hope that you join us for a week, to see.
But if you can’t.
Please at least think about your map. Where you want to go, and what you want to do there.
p.s. Quick story.
Two men formed a map printing company, and decided to put a completely fictional town on it: Algoe (portmanteau of their names) in America. This way if another company copied their map – they would know. (they do this with dictionaries as well)
Lo and behold – they found another map with Algoe on it.
AHA!!! – they said and threatened with lawyers.
nononononoNO – it’s a REAL PLACE said the other mapmakers.
And so it was. People saw the name on the map. A burger van rocked up there. Eventually a cafe. Then a house. Then a few more houses. Someone made a little sign. And it became a place (There are gaps between places in the U.S, can you imagine?)
Algoe was already on the map before it was born.
True story.
Same with you. That thing, that place, that feeling, that conversation, that person that you want on your map.
Those things you REGULARLY want on regular commutes – so they become your life.
You can draw it. And then go there.
And make it real.
Whatever obstacles are in between, you can navigate, once you have decided where you’re going. And who you’re bringing on the journey
And have a map.
Ironic and inspiring, sad and interesting in equal measure. That when we’re faced with a limited time frame – or a life changing event it’s so much easier to focus on what we actually want drawn on our life map.
What if we realised that our time is limited anyway and all of it is precious.
And I don’t believe there are any trophies for denying ourselves happiness while we are here.
Have an amazing weekend