Win at Life
Filthy Elephant…
You’ll have heard the phrase:
“The elephant in the room”
It means the thing that needs to be said – that no one is addressing.
The big issue everyone is swerving…
The filthy elephant is the same, but in this case – it’s the deal-breaker with regards to cleaning, chores or general BIG job or task.
The one that that once dealt with, will make day-to-day life so much smoother and easier.
If it’s the GRAND declutter.
If it’s the biting the bullet –
realising your personal hourly rate is actually way higher than getting outsourced help such as a cleaner, meal delivery or au-pair,
Or even a conversation with the family about having them NOT treat you as hired help –
then it’s the Filthy Elephant.
If you are married, I am sure the marriage contract wasn’t for the role of cleaning up another adult’s mess.
We don’t mean to stir up a hornet’s nest, but if you need someone in your corner or a cheerleader – we are happy to be that.
You deserve to be treated with respect.Even if the bulk of household tasks fall to you because of the way things are organised –
there really is no reason that other members of the household don’t pull their weight or make that task harder.
We really do train children to have the kinds of relationships we show them.
Age-related tasks that can be safely managed by most children
(backed by child development experts).
You are doing them a service by understanding that being part of a family means that you ALL pull your weight.
You are preparing them for adult life.
A family should be like a well-oiled machine
with everyone playing their part, so things run smoothly.
Adults in the home shouldn’t be creating any more drudgery for you to wade through –
just because they’ve been to a workplace,
(maybe one that is clean and tidy, with a well-stocked canteen of already cooked food, and pre-cleaned loo.)
This is a matter of respect.
We train our little boys to be excellent men / husbands / partners.
We train our little girls to be strong women with every opportunity available to them, and to be respected as such.
Children model what they see and rise to what is expected of them – rather than what we tell them.
Show them what kind of adults you hope for them.
If there are no children in the home, then we really must be a true partnership –
it doesn’t matter who does what, as long as it’s fair.
If this is not how things at the moment, the change might be uncomfortable.
But if it’s something that needs to be changed for the long term then it’s worth considering if that is a filthy elephant worth sending back to roam the savannah.
It might be a case of sitting in the discomfort of a difficult conversation or family meeting.
And if it is – our advice would always be, to stick to the facts, be organised and calm, and with the outcome in mind.
Actions.
Think about whether there is a filthy elephant in your house.
It could be a family member.
It could even be you.
Start making a plan to deal with it.
Consder creating a chore/jobs/responsibility list and discuss that with the other household members