The Big Day
The EPIC build up…
OK, so we have 2 brides-to-be finishing The Project at the moment.
It’s gorgeous.
And intense.
They want to look and feel like that perfect princess bride; with an end-goal a date in the diary
the day of all days where everything must be perfect.
It all starts 18 months before.
- The Venue
- The DRESS (oh my God the dress)
- The flowers
- The music
- The GUEST LIST…
who shall we invite?
and who is never going to talk to us the rest of our lives…
And you know there are 100 more on that list.
So something we always want brides-to-be to keep in mind…
Weddings are just one day.
Just one day.
Weddings.
Same with Christmas.
Just. One. Day.
If you’ve got some friends coming over on a typical Saturday I reckon on Friday morning you will have a fair idea what you are going to be eating.
Then on Saturday morning you’ve bought the food and by 5pm you’ve might have worked out what music you are going to put on
And maybe you even bought some new wine glasses at IKEA because you only had 4 decent ones.
Or maybe not.
But Saturday night came. The food was eaten. No-one noticed the glasses. You chatted, laughed,
Dave did his caterpillar across the kitchen and then hit his head on the fridge
and everyone fell about then everyone went home – it was a great night.
Your Wedding.
One god-forsaken-million jobs you gave yourself
Bonbonieres, French Polish, Garter, Place Cards Seating Plan, Playlist, First Dance, Bridesmaids gifts…and on and on and on…
Like Saturday night – but multiplied by a million.
You worked for 18 months practically non-stop for that one day.
And ON the day…how many of those details ACTUALLY mattered.
And if any of them HAD gone wrong – no one would have noticed.
Or cared in the least
The goodwill and bonhomie would have carried everyone through and you would have found your way around the WORST of disasters.
With a laugh and a valued family member stepping up to sort things out.
The things you remember are…
- Dancing with Auntie Pat
- Your Dad’s beautiful speech
- How your two best friends pretended to fight for the bouquet.
- The girls just want to have fun dance-floor takeover
The fact that ALL your favourite people were in one place. At one time.
All wanting to have a nice time and ACTIVELY pouring love upon you.
You look back…and realise that the leg wax and eyelash extensions and organic cotton invites were so unimportant as to not even reach the radar.
SAME AS CHRISTMAS.
Today – no new tasks.
A stock-take.
An exhale.
Seriously, if you are making chutneys and feeding your cake with brandy at 8 hour intervals
BRILLIANT – why not?
Fair Play to you.
If you have the time and enjoy it.
But you don’t HAVE to do it.
M&S have got most of that stuff covered – and you can get it all in one swoop.
(Wednesday. 2pm. Seriously the only time to go to any large shop. Except IKEA – which is Tuesday at 7. Top Tips – trust an allergic shopper)
But it will be fine.
It will.
I will confess.
I have in the past baked tree decorations and foraged for ivy, and twigs and sprayed them gold
Sewed countless costumes (remind me to tell you about that)
And made the pudding and the cake and the mince pies – and all of that….
Actually – I will blow my own trumpet.
I am rather good at Christmas.
But the only thing that anyone remembers about my contribution is not the hand made gift tags or the pickled lemons.
(Yes I also did that) ..are the games. And the laughing.
Having run a children’s party business for years (a long time ago) and also WiggleWaggle (our children’s programme)
This is my (Tanya’s) general bent.
I got previous guv’nor.
SAME ISSUE
It’s not the detail.
It’s the fun.
Like your wedding day
Xmas is ALL going to be OK
Because all of your best people are there and everyone is on the same side.
So if nothing else, until the big day… give yourself a break.
You don’t have to work so hard and the details are not what is remembered
But if you are running yourself ragged in the build up and in the kitchen on the day then cleaning up when everyone is snoring and breaking wind in front of Dr Who
With a residual hard-done-by feeling
Then you have sold EVERYONE short.
They want you to be in the centre of things, having fun and giving cuddles and laughing at the spectacle of 75 year old great-Aunt Sue wearing a Star Wars Storm-trooper voice changer helmet.
Those are the important things.
We really promise.
All we want to say is…
- Permit yourself to Chill out.
- Pick your battles.
- Please don’t overload your schedule (you don’t have to do everything)
- Delegate. Even tiny children can, and should, help.
- Make sure YOU enjoy your day
- It is NOT about the children. It is about your family.
- You are in that. You are the linchpin of that.
M&S/Waitrose/Sainsburys do a lot of the things you THINK you need to do…
Pick the things you LOVE only.
DO THOSE
Revel in those.
But you don’t HAVE to do it all.
Outsource/buy in/delegate as much as you can.
Don’t worry about being perfect.
Because it is only one day.
And what is MOST important is that you make another new precious set of memories
Which you can’t do – stuck in the kitchen.
Or so stressed that you just want the day to end.
That’s all.
Have a lovely day
xxx