Why do you have a spoon in your tights?
I put it there after lunch.
To see what it was like.

(None of this or the following are jokes BTW, so don’t get excited about any upcoming punchline)

these are just regular conversations I have with groups of 5-year-olds I see a couple of times a week to teach them dancing.

I’ve tried to cut down but that’s the lowest I can go.
It’s a hard thing to stop.

Sometimes they arrive in full Spiderman character

(one recently spending the whole session with his arms folded in the corner “protecting the planet” and joining in when he didn’t think anyone was looking),

sometimes they have forgotten anything particular to wear and stay as they are.

I really don’t mind and neither does anyone else.

Quite often they need to be reminded that social conventions are such that one doesn’t have to get fully butt naked when you change clothes.

It’s not often in life you need to shout across a room to tell someone “EMILY do not take your pants off. Especially in front of the window.”

And the busting out of a roly-poly mid-sentence doesn’t raise an eyebrow between five-year-old friends – in fact, one would probably start off a flurry of them.

First thing that happened this week – SHRIEKS:

“we have a new girl LOOK!!!!” 

New girl literally loving the attention, although bright red.

After amomentary hesitation (literally moments) she throws herself into things – everyone else delighting in showing her what to do, where things are, clambering to hold her hand.

2 minutes in – it’s like she’d always been there.

“OK, everyone can choose their own name for this game”

(Mistake. Oh well. I knew that before I finished saying it)

Josh – what’s your name going to be?

Mr Bottom.
First name, please?


Pleased to meet you Mr Bare Bottom.

Cue hilarity.
Cue from the other side of the room – very LOUD Fart.

Cheers and laughter.
No one cares who did it.

Farts are funny.

ME: “So everyone, today we are going to try something completely new – I don’t mind if you can do it or not, but hands up who’s up for giving it a try?”

All of the hands.

Girl with cerebral palsy being helped by a friend and another bringing in her bag.

“Effies body works differently and it needs us to help her”.
No judgement.
Not patronising.

Effie’s one of the gang.

It’s bloody beautiful.

And that was just last week..

The reason I’m telling you this is because a woman saw some of the footage I put on FB from one of our fancy-shmancy events at the Ageas Hilton.

She said: “that looked amazing – I was going to come along, but I could never be brave enough to even walk into that room with all of those people I don’t know.
Everyone would be looking at me”

We see people in coaching and hypnotherapy who want to work (bloody good on ‘em) on their confidence when going into new situations or speaking up at work (and we fix that.)

Other people tell us that their social anxiety stops them from trying new things that they’d love to do and living the life they want.

When did this happen to us?

What happened between the five-year-old prioritising fun, farting, getting applause, not being embarrassed or even thinking about it again – to us now, too scared to go into a room that we want to go into in case someone notices us?

And missing out on the fun.

I want to ask you NOT to feel the fear and do it anyway.

I want to ask you to skip the feeling the fear bit, don’t give it the airtime and just get in there – WITHOUT the second-guessing, the overthinking and the procrastination.

Like the five-year-old YOU, still there – under all that baggage you picked up and people gave you to hold.

Just give the lot to a grown-up to carry (or throw it on the floor) as very-sensible-when-you-think-about 5-year-olds would.

and get stuck into the stuff you’ve always wanted to do.

I promise you – you HAVE to do this.

Top five regrets of the dying always include worrying about what other people think.

Five-year-olds don’t.

Five-year-olds don’t give a flying fart… and they are the best company EVER!

They prioritise fun, make instant connections and laugh throughout the day.

We average 17 laughs a day – they are at nearer 100.

They dream big, look on the bright side, have a go at things they’ve never tried before without worrying about anyone else.

And they know that farts are, indeed – the height of funny.

Also… if you are ready to fire on all cylinders?
To feel shinier and have all more fun?
Want to feel healthy and happy in your skin and carve out the perfect life FOR YOU
(not anyone else).
(sod anyone else)
If you’ve scrolled past enough memes and motivational quotes for a lifetime, and are thinking:

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