(and other Fairy Stories)
December is upon us, and it’s easy to feel a bit jaded about it all, if we’re not careful.
Especially when the same 7 Christmas songs are already blasting out, on repeat everywhere you go.
Unless you’re a practicing, churchgoing Christian – like many other widespread traditions, your Christmases probably have more to do with tradition than religion.
Most people identify as either:
‘Team Christmas’ (tree up mid-November, Chrimbo jumper on, midnight mass, mulled wine at the ready, house decs visible from space)
Or ‘Team Bah Humbug’, (tutting, eye-rolling, despair at consumerist excess, would ideally head to the Caribbean to hide till Jan)
and as someone who would tend toward the second…
my mission this month, is to offer some festive ideas – robust enough to make even ‘cynical old me’ crack a December smile.
So, before we begin (and while it’s still early enough to do something about things),
could I respectfully invite you – full adult growd-up that you are – to shake off the shackles, that are the legacy of past Christmases?
To hold firm to the fact that:
if you are going to be the one peeling potatoes, wrapping presents, racing around the shops to find the last roll of extra-large tin foil,
people don’t get to dictate to you how you DO Christmas.
If it’s ‘technically’ your turn to go to your sister’s and you’d really rather stay at home and have a quiet one, you have every right to do that.
It doesn’t mean you love her any less, and you would still cheerfully kill and bury the body of anyone who touched a precious hair on her head.
But you’re just a bit knackered and you’d like to stay in your pyjamas, watch trashy films and stay 5-8% tipsy all day.
Also if you’ve been eying up the credit card for presents this year as the cost of living has gone all Tasmanian Devil.
You can scale things back and just not do that.
Did you know it’s a massive thing in Japan to have KFC for Christmas Dinner?
I’m not suggesting that (although apparently, around 5000 takeaways across the UK will be open)
But it’s perfectly legitimate to not go full Nigella, have 4 types of meat, and parmesan your parsnips.
Especially if that kind of time in the kitchen is not something that fills you with glee.
Or start baking now, steeping and julienning now.
Whatever would make you happy.
So I just wanted to start this month with a little plea from someone who has handmade all the decorations, had 25 to lunch, and run personalised games, school Christmas parties, and carol concerts.
(not bragging, it was incredibly try-hard and probably not overly remembered by the people involved)
You don’t have to live up to expectations, run yourself ragged, do things ‘because it’s tradition’, or put up with people you’d rather not spend time with.
You don’t.
You are in charge of your own happiness.
Other people are in charge of theirs.
If the decisions you make are what will make you happy, they are the right ones.
Not to be melodramatic, but you only get a certain number of Christmases on this planet and without being presumptuous – you’ve probably had around half of them already.
Let’s make the rest the best they can be as defined by you.
Not John Lewis, Delia Smith, Stacey Solomon (God love her) or any of the rest of them.
I just wanted to get that out of the way.
Questions
- Think about your best Christmas. Why was it so good? What were the actual elements that made it so enjoyable? Is there anything you’ve wanted to implement and haven’t yet?
- Now think about the things that don’t excite you about the festive period. The tedious things, people, tasks and activities that you either don’t like or outright dread.
- What changes could you make, so that you do more of the kinds of things you enjoyed on your best Christmas and less of the ones that weren’t enjoyable? Could you outsource? Change plans? Share the load? Have a difficult conversation? Ask us/the group/friends if you need advice or ideas about how to do that.
Action: Based on the above – create a plan within the realms of what’s possible (and maybe pushing the bar on what you think that is) so that this Christmas is much more how you prefer things.
Then communicate that to whoever else it concerns – before anyone gets in there first!
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