Maybe we’re in a Spiritual Vacuum
or a present that’s accelerating like no time in history that has ripped a weird disconnect with the past.
It’s a cliché I suppose, but nonetheless true, that there are times we need to summon a teenager to make sense of the webcam installation instructions.
Recent history and the pace things are moving mean that the young people know more than the grown ups about much of the World.
It used to be that the elders imparted the wisdom, and the youngsters learned how to be – but now find themselves sitting next to 8 year old children saying “no nana – it’s not pronounced Skypee”.
One woman who works with us told a funny story the other day.
Her teenage daughter was having a rough day, lovely mum as she is – she sent her a text “don’t worry lovey, when you come home, get your jammies on and you can have an evening of Netflix and Chill”
“PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
OH MY DAYS I have to show all my friends. You DIDN’T just say that PAHAHAHAHAHAAaaaaa!!!!”
Those of you who owning children of the teenage persuasion will probably know that this is a phrase actually used for a night of steamy rudeness at your girlfriend/boyfriend’s house.
Ladies – Urban Dictionary will be your Wikipedia/Google Translate from ages 12-16.
Use it sparingly and don’t tell them I told you.
Perhaps a few exponential decades of that kind of carry-on has brought us here.
The perceived/accepted wisdom and expertise seems to now be coming from the bottom up – so centuries worth of tradition gets filed under ‘old, pointless stuff’.
And we have a generation of 30 and 40 somethings… making it up as they go along, and slightly grasping about to find meaning.
We have never had so many emails/messages as we have had during this Xmas Countdown.
Unashamedly it is less ‘meaty’ or provocative than a lot of the things we send you – so it’s not that.
It is the time of year.
Christmas galvanizes us.
We used to know exactly what to do – we would do it like our Mums did, and that’s how it was for Centuries. Some of the people you pass in Waitrose genuinely were happy with a Xmas stocking with a sixpence a satsuma and a rag doll.
Now there are people ringing up £500 bills at the checkout for the Christmas Meal
Children’s Christmas Present lists include gadgets costing hundreds of pounds.
People queueing for hours to look at the Coke lorry in a supermarket car park.
Locally a whole close took ‘Keeping up with the Jones’ to interplanetary proportions by putting on the most god-dang audacious display of flashing lights you’ve ever seen.
(I wasn’t going to go – but curiosity got the better of me – genuinely it was the weirdest thing. Literally hundreds of people flocked to this tiny Cul-de-Sac and gawped at the people through their windows, while they pretended not to notice’. They had very shiny cars’)
Visiting this close was described as a Christmas tradition by lots of local families.
Then the Close stopped doing it as they were fed up of people parking carelessly.
I have to call myself out of being a bit snooty/frustrated about all this.
(Tanya writing today – Claire is a lot nicer than me 😉 )
But it was my natural inclination.
But thinking about it properly…like a grown up…that says more about me than the people that enjoyed queuing up for the Coke Lorry. (Still can’t bring myself to say truck)
The product is arbitrary – would it work with Adidas? Or Lidl? The Primark People Mover? It could have been… Had they got there first.
PLEASE remind be to tell you about Corn Flakes in the 50s.
Way worse.
Anyway…
Twinkly lights are lovely
Seeing a TV advert in real life, is exciting especially if you are little and everything is even HUGER and TWINKLIER.
Spending more money than you can afford, on food that won’t be eaten and mind-blowingly expensive presents for children that will be cherished less than the rag doll in the 50s stocking, makes me want to shout and rationalise and appeal to your better judgement.
But actually – if those things are what you love to do, and you decided to do them, then why ever not. Ignore me.
Seriously – really do.
Bah humbug, etc.
See the thing is – some of us have the budget to splash out, and others of us don’t this year.
Some of us want to do that (to give your family a magical Christmas)
and some of us want to volunteer in Soup Kitchens.
Some of us are looking forward to the outrageous hedonistic indulgence whilst crafting Anthea out of the building,
and others navigating tricky family politics and suffering overdraft-induced insomnia… counting down the days until it’s over.
What are the rules? How much should we spend? Does main present come from Santa or us? Or should there be a Santa? Is he the magic of Christmas or the first major lie we tell children realise they have been told….by everyone. Do I ask people to help or be the perfect hostess? Midnight Mass, Carol Concert, Queen’s Speech? Pantomime? Pub? KFC? (It’s open) Do we dress up or stay in onesies? Elf on the Shelf… when did that start? And now it’s a ‘thing’.
Whoa.
Slow down.
Really that is the key.
Slow. Right. Down.
The benefit of where we are, is it really is all up to you.
Not up to your mother in law, or your mum or your friend or us or anyone.
Your Christmas Day – for one of the first times in history is up to you.
Onesies or cocktail dresses. Rip up the rulebook as it doesn’t exist.
Have whatever day you damn well please.
And our only advice is to chill out and enjoy it.
With the people you love.
Even if they are aren’t all there.
Christmas, amidst the frenzy and excitement, is always painfully raw where people who have left us are concerned.
Nestled at the front of our minds, filtering everything else
Times there were never to see.
Christmas does this. The firsts, the lasts, the bests, the dreaded
the never again.
Like no other time.
It’s all very well us asking you to be calmer – but it that’s not overly useful.
If you feel yourself becoming anxious over the next few days,
put your headphones in and do the simple breathing anxiety exercise below.
Literally listen to it and follow the instructions.
No expectation.
Like diffusing any bomb that seems poised to go off.
xxxx
a little snippet kindly lent from The Project…