So if you’ve been playing along…
You’ve probably got quite the list of Values that have ‘shortlisted’ as possibles for your personal Values list.
Most people get to this point and have 10, 20… some even more than 40.
Which is entirely groovy, obviously – and exactly how it should be.
However – it’s not overly practical until we start to narrow things down.
One of my personal parenting rules (which definitely evolved over time as I got the hang of it) is to pick my battles.
Whilst it would be wonderful that all of the children were beautifully turned out at all times, perfectly punctual, and had smart tidy bedrooms…
frankly –
I don’t really care too much about that stuff.
Also – I’m relatively hit-and-miss at those things;
frequently a scruff,
whilst the house is tidy, my car is sometimes hilariously full of junk.
Being early – well I haven’t often tried it… so I can’t really comment on that – I tend to skid in under the door with moments to spare.
However.
What is important to me in terms of children’s’ behaviour are things like:
- Politeness.
- Telling the truth.
- Working hard.
- Being kind.
I will happily overlook transgressions on the other things but am pretty Zero-Tolerance on the bottom one.
For other people – it will be the other way round.
Or completely different lists.
It’s like trying to spin all of the plates, all of the time – which is frankly exhausting… and it’s sod’s law that the important ones will drop.
It’s much the same with Values.
The point is: if you shoot for the stars with everything – it’s unlikely that you’ll ever hit bullseye.
Or overwhelm yourself and grind to a halt, calling yourself names.
So don’t do that.
Let’s start to bat this into shape.
Action:
For this exercise I want you to get the list of Values you’ve been compiling and start to group them together.
This will (with a bit of luck) start to uncover some central themes.
We looked at this from the opposite angle yesterday with the Elements – let’s carry on this filtration by grouping YOUR Values together.
Things that could group together:
- accountability, diligence, promptness
- creativity, adventure, spontaneity
- intimacy, passion, love
- carefulness, fastidiousness, attention to detail
And 100s of other things in unlimited combinations.
There is no right or wrong on this, whatever you feel go together – go together.