Host an Afternoon Tea
Pinky fingers at the ready.
I am so crazy about Afternoon Tea – I once hosted one with a hundred people in a ballroom.
Perhaps surprisingly, the concept of Afternoon Tea is quite new, though it does sound like something that has always existed.
The Duchess’ First Tea
We’ve got Anna. The Duchess of Bedford to thank, back in the 1840s for today’s Afternoon Tea.
The story goes that she felt ‘peckish’ one afternoon – between lunch and dinner.
(We can all relate)
The Duchess asked that a tray of tea, bread, butter, and cake be brought to her room in the late afternoon. She approved.
By all accounts, this approval was rare and a big deal – she was quite particular and a stickler for detail.
A few days later, she invited some of her fancy friends to join her in her private quarters for another ‘Afternoon Tea’.
It was an instant hit, and the Afternoon Tea – as a thing – was born. Pretty soon it became THE fashionable social event and the talk of the upper-class ladies.
Sometime earlier, the Earl of Sandwich had had the idea of putting a filling between two slices of bread.
Legend. Thank you Earl.
These were incorporated, too, and tiny sandwiches became a staple of Afternoon Tea. Little cakes, treats, slices of quiche, and pie – plus anything else that could easily be held by the ladies while still looking dainty, also became a staple.
And perhaps a whole salmon, because why not?
The tradition spread throughout England and as far as India to the colonists, who infused it with local spices and snacks. This is why coronation chicken and devilled eggs made the cut – into the British Afternoon Tea menu.
Tea Ceremonies
Of course, other ceremonial ‘takings of tea’ go back much further than that.
The people of Japan have their own version influenced by the Buddhist tea ceremony, and it was (and still is) more of a ritual of harmony and tranquillity than the British cake-fest indulgence.
This Buddhist tea ceremony dates back to 1192–1333 in Japan, and the Japanese got the idea from people in China before that.
So Anna was pretty late to the tea party in reality.
Today, afternoon tea is a popular treat for special occasions or just a relaxing break from the hustle and bustle of life.
A little refined slice of life.
The Rules of Afternoon Tea (only slightly in jest)
#1 The first rule of Afternoon Tea is: you do not talk about afternoon tea. It is a sacred ritual that must be kept secret from the uninitiated.
#2 The second rule of Afternoon Tea is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT AFTERNOON TEA. Seriously, just relax and enjoy the scones.
#3 Always use a proper teapot, cup, and saucer. Never mugs, paper cups, or thermoses. This is not a coffee break; this is a civilised affair. We are not animals.
#4 You must always pour the tea first, then add milk and sugar to your liking – never the other way around. This is not a matter of preference; it is a matter of etiquette.
#5 You must always hold your cup by the handle, not the rim or the body. And never slurp gulp, or chug your tea. Sip it gently and gracefully, like the refined lady, gentleman or gentleperson you are.
#6 You must always eat your sandwiches before your cakes. Never use a knife or a fork to eat them. Use your fingers, but don’t get them too messy. This is why God invented napkins.
#7 Don’t forget to cut off the crusts; they are for peasants.
(This is a sentence I remember from watching a fabulous drag act in Brighton once. It made me laugh. Personally, I cut them off and eat them anyway.)
#8 You must always offer to share your cakes with your companions, even if you don’t want to. Never take more than one piece of each kind unless there are leftovers. Don’t lick your fingers; use a napkin.
Nanny would threaten to chop them off if she saw you doing that.
There were harsh childcare protocols back then.
#9 You must always compliment the host on their choice of tea, sandwiches and cakes.
Even if they are (heaven forbid) bland, dry or stale. And never criticize or complain about anything. This is not a time for honesty; this is a time for politeness.
We are British.
Everything is “delicious and a wonderful treat”.
#10 You must always thank the host for their hospitality and generosity.
And never overstay your welcome. Don’t forget to tip the waiter or waitress, if there is one. Never leave any crumbs or stains behind.
If you do, you should feel guilty about that.
#11 You must always remember that afternoon tea is not just a meal but an experience.
It is a chance to relax, socialise and indulge in tasty treats.
This tradition has been passed down for generations and is widely respected and cherished.
A quintessential British affair to be enjoyed with pride.
Whether you like it or not.
Permitted, officially sanctioned Afternoon Tea Fayre:
- A pot of tea, preferably Earl Grey or Darjeeling, with milk and sugar on the side
- “Homemade quiche or don’t bother, dear” (according to one of my aunts).
- A selection of finger sandwiches, such as cucumber, egg and cress, coronation chicken, smoked salmon, and ham and mustard.
- Scones with clotted cream and jam, or butter and honey if you prefer (obligatory argument about pronunciation).
- Various cakes and pastries, including Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, macarons, and eclairs.
- A glass of champagne or sparkling wine if you’re feeling fancy.
- A napkin to wipe your mouth and fingers and a polite smile to thank your host.
Lastly – My Favourite Afternoon Tea Quotes:
Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors.
Alice Walker
You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.
C.S. Lewis
There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.
Henry James
I like the pause that tea allows.
Waris Ahluwaria
Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept.
Frances Hardinge
A cup of tea is a cup of peace.
Soshitsu Sen XV
Where there’s tea there’s hope.
Arthur Wing Pinero
I am sort of a tea addict. I structure my day by cups of tea.
S.T. Josh
Tea is instant wisdom – just add water!
Astrid Alauda
Cheers.