Love & Connection
Psychologist Arthur Aaron from Berkeley Institute (University) identified the 5 most important things you can do to maintain a happy relationship.
1. Do new things together, often.
We talked about the release of chemicals that having a new partner induces in the brain,
and how great that makes us feel. Doing sports, riding roller coasters, or even just going for a challenging hike – can all create the perfect conditions. Doing new things together, especially physical and daring ones keep those loving hormones present – and that new love feeling.
2. Celebrate your partner’s success.
Whether quietly or publicly (whatever they’d prefer) show appreciation and admiration for things they’ve achieved. A special meal, a bottle of bubbly – or a thoughtful card – whatever’s appropriate, will reaffirm that you are each others’ no. 1 fan, supporter and cheerleader.
3. Deepen your relationships with other couples.
No man is an island.
And while you may be initially blissfully happy with each other – there comes a time to extend your own friendship network. Having ‘couples friends’ is building your own extended family – but on a more level playing field than the family dynamic. If you cut yourself off from other people – things can become too intense without the opportunity to diffuse. Being together with other couples strengthens your sense of ‘being a unit’, and it can be lovely seeing your partner being entertaining and charming in a new context.
4. Say thank you
Say thank you every time your partner does something for you.
It’s easy to get comfortable, assume your thanks is implied and it isn’t important.
5. Work on yourself.
Maybe the most important one. If you are anxious, depressed or insecure it’s hard to have a great relationship with anyone. It’s very hard to live with someone like that, and it’s hard to show up as a great partner if it’s you. So put the work in to address your issues, so that you can love yourself first.
Exercise is a great place to start, as it lifts mood, calms nerves and helps you feel better about yourself. But also Yoga, Meditation, and talking to a professional, if you need impartial help with it – will all be beneficial.
Are there any of these that you could tweak?
We’d be happy to chat about them.