Trigger Warning - Funerals

Sorry to get a bit dark here, but I want you to imagine something that is definitely going to happen.

You’re at the church or maybe somewhere else, and your funeral is underway.

Thought I’d just get that out of the way early.

You’re looking around and you recognise all those people from the different times in your life,

including some today’s you hasn’t met yet, who might end up being some of the most important people ever. It looks beautiful.

The coffin is at the front, surrounded by flowers.

They’ve done a lovely job.

And phew, there’s been a good turnout and someone is stepping forward to give your eulogy.

Gulp.

What will they say?

And in that moment you realise something.

Those letters after your name, your status, your qualifications, the

things you worked so hard for,

are suddenly way less important than you thought they might be.

You want them to talk about you.

To say really nice things about your character, about your kindness, your humour, your diligence your creativity, your zest for life.

How you were patient with people.

How you helped people get on in their lives.

What a wonderful mother, sister, auntie, or friend you were.

How you always knew what to say in a crisis.

How yours was a life well-lived.

or whatever it is you really hope in that moment that they’ll say.

These things don’t really appear on CVs.

CV qualities aren’t really interesting here. What people are talking about is what they appreciated about you.

What they loved.

The quality of our character ends up being the important legacy because it showed what kind of person you were while you were here.

Just in the same way as when you flip a coin, while it’s up in the air, you find out what you want, what side you really want it to fall on.

This is the moment you find out who you would have wanted to be. Those characteristics, this is the time to live them.

It’s not about the funeral.

It’s about the time in between now and then, the life you want to live.

So a thought:

there’s still time to be brave, strong, or kind in how you live your life.

You can still double down on the things that you want to be remembered for or pivot completely and do things differently.

Start on new paths.

And a question: What characteristics do you hope they’ll celebrate in your eulogy?

Trigger Warning – Funerals