I’ve been trying to convince you NOT to make massive announcements about your goals
or hit Amazon up for Nicotine Patches, Running Shoes and Self-Help books.
For a minute.
And let me help you make THIS the time you permanently succeed at that THING you want to achieve.
And for the process to be much less of a ballache.
In Stage 1, we had a closer look at the possible SECONDARY GAINS you’re currently getting from NOT making the changes.
Now THAT made much more sense.
(For Human Upgrade Members when we get to the end of this,
it will form part of a new unit in your GROWTH module in The Vault –
with an exclusive snazzy workbook, and step-by-step guide)
When we do seemingly illogical things
(smoking, not speaking up, eating unhealthily, drinking too much)
that we KNOW aren’t in our best interest – it makes us feel rotten.
Maybe you are stupid, lazy or have no confidence?
Thing is about that – whatever name you call yourself –
I bet you can find evidence to the contrary in other areas of your life.
Never stick at anything?
But you get up for the school run and work every day and potty trained 3 children (who weren’t especially up for it)
You’ve given birth, passed your driving test, and said ‘I do’.
You earn money, teach your children, run a home and finished Uni.
You see what I’m saying?
So firstly – it’s unlikely to be 100% true.
But more importantly…
INTRODUCING – Confirmation Bias
This is where we look for evidence and focus on memories that support the things we say.
If we support a sports team/political party/pop group… we’ll defend them even when they don’t perform well.
We’ll search for proof that they are the best, and ignore anything that’s ambiguous or negative.
If you say it often enough, you’ll live up to it.
If you tell yourself that you are the kind of person who:
Never sticks at anything – you will live up to that.
Is ‘all or nothing’.
Is no good at exercise.
Has no self-confidence.
Your brain, and your subconscious mind, in particular –
will make sure you live up to that.
The more you say it, the more you will have reinforced it.
It’s important to know, that nothing is a done deal.
You can literally BE any kind of person from here on in.
If you are the person who ‘never sticks at healthy eating’ –
sorry, with that kind of thinking
…this time won’t be any different.
You have to literally design a new identity.
Visualise, write it, say it out loud and look for supporting evidence that you WILL succeed.
This isn’t wishful thinking or woo-woo nonsense,
this is literally programming your brain (your hard drive that controls everything) for success.
Make vision boards,
surround yourself with people that will help,
remove people that will sabotage or not support you,
get systems, plans and reminders in place.
New habits take a while to bed in –
you have to do it manually until they become natural,
so give yourself a break and the best possible conditions while you do.
Your brain won’t be overly compliant.
It will resist.
It will try to keep you safe from effort, sadness and risk of failure –
and send you a sabotage script that keep you at your current set point.
” PPPSSSSSTTTTTTT give up, you’re no good at this, you always give up, what’s the point, it’s too hard, it’ll be just like the all the other times, it’s too scary, one won’t hurt, live a little…”
NOTICE IT FOR WHAT IT IS
But it thinks it’s trying to help.
Eventually, it will realise how you are doing things now –
it will internalise your NEW SCRIPT
and you will start to live up to it
it will try to help you with your new set point,
where everything feels more effortless and natural.
It’s like training a puppy.
You put the effort in at the beginning and are rewarded with a loyal friend that will happily do anything for you.
1. Examine the names you call yourself – check if they’re actual factual
2. Puppy train your old sabotage script
3. Design your NEW identity, write a new script and use it all the time.
4. Have patience – but keep bloody going.
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