This week has
Been all about friends….
..Driving back from the school run yesterday.
It was like watching the World with the colour turned down,
and in low-definition.
Grey faces, grey buildings melting into a half-arsed cement coloured sky.
All the faces said:
“Same Sh*t, different day”
That’s the thing about Britain.
Glorious fresh technicolour…
FOR TWO WEEKS A YEAR
followed by 50 of…
MEH.
Or so it seems, if you’re feeling a bit grey, anyway.
I stopped to get petrol.
Two women were in the queue…
Woman #1
“yeah, she’s a right pain in the arse when she gets all depressed.
You know, she’s lovely and all that – but you know….cheer up love!”
Woman #2
“I give her a wide berth when she’s like that. Brings me down. I’ve got enough of my own misery to deal with. Sort it out, you’re no fun “
Hmmmm.
Maybe.
Maybe she is a pain in the arse
Maybe they are not very kind friends
Who cares, really?
None of those women are doing each other much good.
The thing about friends – is you DO get to choose.
If your life was a workplace – and YOU were the boss.
Is there anyone in line for the sack
Who drains you?
One way traffic?
Who had more in common with the old you than the one you want to be?
Is there someone you spend time with out of habit?
Or guilt?
Or pity?
“sorry, . there’s been a reorganisation. We don’t have a role for you at the moment. Thanks for everything”.
Who would you promote?
Is there someone you can’t WAIT to see? Always makes you laugh?
Who properly GETS you…
Who lifts you up?
Who has your back?
No question?
Who do you know KNOW
…whose door you could knock at at 3am,
rained-on, slightly smelly, and with no coherent explanation for being there
would open the door, ply you with tea and biscuits and make you up a bed?
No questions asked.
Anyway…
surely those people must be in line for a promotion.
I was thinking, that every now and then
People shake things up
Looking at what they do and finally choose what serves them better than before
Like cleaning out the under stairs cupboard..
And putting it back all neatly
so you can get to the hoover without having to move the ironing basket.
To make your life run smoother.
Without the daily annoyances
like the sigh you give to the mirror when you catch sight of your bum when you’re brushing your teeth.
Are you brave enough to do that with the people you spend time with?
It’s the very definition of “it’s not you..it’s me”
No-one has to be the bad guy.
You’re maybe just not right for each other at the moment.
I’ve had an email from a long lost, very dear friend and we are meeting for coffee next week.
(And I know she is reading this *waves* you know who you are – hello!!!”)
Can’t wait – so much to talk about.
We used to have SO much fun.
I was also contacted by someone else a few months ago
and I remembered how much drama and angst there used to be when she was about
Not having THAT cup of coffee…
Who you have around you makes such a massive impact on your life…
People can make you feel supported, and bolder, and cherished, and happy…
or drained, frustrated, worried, jealous and irritated.
And YOU get to choose WHICH
you spend time with.
YOU.
DO.
There are no HR policies for your actual life.
Why not spend a minute or two drawing up your own list of who you want to have in your life.
And who doesn’t work for who you are in this moment.
Make the promotions and redundancies.
Work towards it.
Gently…no arguments…no blame
No Need
What I have found is, those people I knew the longest and have been the most significant
I can spend DECADES away from.
And it makes NO difference at all.
You pick up where you left off.
With even more to talk about.
And there are other people you give your energy to now that you will barely remember five years from now.
If you’ve been a grey faced “Same Shit, Different Day” merchant
You could change the settings to HD just by tweaking the balance of people you see day-to-day.
There will be someone who inspires you
Someone else so interesting, you could just listen to them speak all day
Someone who makes you feel better.
Someone who listens to you
Someone else who is just a full-on
SCREAMING LAUGH
You know these people.
Why not spend more time with them?
Or rekindle important old friendships?
I have quoted Jim Rohn before because I think he is cool.
So I won’t apologise.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Could be true.
Definitely sounds about right…
Who are your 5?
How’s that working out for you?
Perhaps you need to level up…
Clean out your under-stair friend cupboard.
I promise it will be like getting a massive new
top of the range
HD TV
with surround sound.
But for real life.
Love
Tanya
xx
p.s. good luck with the friends reshuffle!
Make friends with yourself – Have a go at our rather fabulous Morning Ritual, A gorgeous way to start your day